Tim Butler

Counselor, Life Coach & Speaker

Filtering by Tag: marriage

Fighting For Your Marriage (Video and Audio)

This past weekend CedarCreek continued their series with Fighting for your Marriage. During that time I shared of the need for taking care of your own contribution in the areas of (1) managing conflict (2) appropriate treatment of your partner and (3) seeing to your own spiritual, physical, and emotions health.

The feedback was indicative of a generation who may have forgotten that message but very much appreciated the opportunity to be stretched.

People don’t really want to get divorced. People do not really want to continue the ongoing stress. If pressed, people know the only person they can change is themselves, yet they still try to do the impossible. Admittedly it is hard to look into the mirror of your own reality and ask yourself how you are contributing to the problem, and, more importantly, what you could do differently to improve things.

Reactively we want to pass blame on the other person—making a case for our own victimhood. It is way easier to try to identify the errors in our spouse than to look truthfully into our own emotions and actions. Human nature to be sure.

I spoke with several folks who had taken the challenge to change themselves; amazing stories. Congrats!

Listen to Fighting For Your Marriage

Hear the audio version of my talk below or download it and take it with you.

Fighting For Your Marriage

Married? Planning on getting married anytime soon? Finding marriage harder than you thought? You are not alone.

Marriage is an institution created by God in which He designed two very different people and told them to live together—in harmony. Does that sound easy? Not always. But there are some definite do’s and don’t in the winding road of marriage.

This Sunday, 6/7, I will be speaking on the topic of Fighting for your Marriage at Cedar Creek Church. Come hear what to do that will go a long way toward making your marriage as divorce-proof as possible. Clearly, your spouse can always leave you, but find out how to be the kind of person your partner would want to be married to, and not leave.

These days, when you hear of a fight breaking out as it relates to one’s marriage, you likely think the worst. Why wouldn’t you? Approximately 50% of all marriages in America end in divorce. Most television and movies portray marriages in disarray, fighting over petty things and damaging families. Our court system keeps a steady stream of cases trying to juggle the many complaints for divorce that come through their doors. Sadly, some divorcees think that the issue was solely their spouse and simply turn around and get remarried. That’s where we see an even steeper downward cycle because 60% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages end in divorce.

Married people spend most of their “marriage repair” time in trying to fix or change the other person. As I ask my patients in my counseling sessions, how’s that working for you? Changing other people is so over-rated, but yet we try to do it all the time.

Did you know that how you manage conflict is the greatest predictor of how well a marriage will be lived and how long it will last. Add that to the fact that over 60% of conflict in marriage never goes away, and you have an idea of what you will hear this weekend.